Anger is as Anger does!

We’ve been taught that anger is not a good thing. However; it’s hard for us to go immediately to forgiveness when someone has made us very angry. Anger is not a good state for us to be in, but it’s hard for us to control it when we’ve been wronged by someone. After all, even Jesus had times of anger with people.

In John 2:13-22 we are reminded of a very angry Jesus: “Now the Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.  And He found in the temple those who sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the money changers doing business. When He had made a whip of cords, He drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen, and poured out the changers’ money and overturned the tables.  And He said to those who sold doves, “Take these things away! Do not make My Father’s house a house of merchandise!”  Ok, I guess it’s alright for us to be angry about things and people. Well, maybe not. Jesus’ anger was because of a disregard for God’s house. Most times, our anger is not based on something that is directly connected to God.

We must forgive others as soon as possible after our anger has reached its peak. Our anger actually turns inward upon us and causes us to be ashamed of ourselves and to realize that our anger has actually cut us off from God’s love. The longer we stay angry, the deeper we become separated from God. It turns a situation of feeling justified in our anger to one of self punishment. It makes us incapable of love and acceptance of love, only making a bad situation worse.

It is unlikely that in this natural world we might never experience anger. It’s going to come, so we’d better be prepared for it. The more we love and enjoy another person, the greater the impact it has on our relationship with them. It’s a bit easier to be angry at someone we don’t know well. The consequences escalate, the deeper our relationship.  How then do we resolve a situation of anger toward another?

You’ve heard people say, “I can forgive them, but I can’t forget what they did.” That sounds reasonable, but God wants more from us. When possible, God wants us not only to forgive, but to be reconciled with the person and be in God’s community as partners again. When we are angry at someone, we tend to focus totally on what they did and not who they really are. This narrow focus makes it harder to forgive and reconcile with that person.

One of the mistakes we make when another has angered us is to try to recruit others to our side of the situation, which only causes more problems in our community.  An attempt to circle the community against the other person only complicates things and serves no one any benefit. Of course, if others hear of the discord on their own and form their own opinion, our forgiveness and reconciliation of the person becomes an even greater need for the community.

In Scripture, Luke 15: 11-32, a good example of forgiveness is the parable of the Prodigal Son, which we are all familiar with. The father ordered the fatted calf killed to be eaten in celebration for the return of his wayward son to the disgruntlement of the son that kept serving his father in the fields while his brother wasted his inheritance. Now that’s forgiveness and reconciliation. The father did not focus on the sons misdeeds, but instead celebrated the son’s life and his return.

 In the event that we have been so severely hurt by someone’s actions that reconciliation is difficult, we should wait and pray for a time when it makes sense to rejoin our brother or sister. If we are seeking God in our lives, He will lead us in a direction that will be most beneficial under the circumstances.

Forgiving others is difficult sometimes, but forgiving ourselves usually proves to be the most difficult. Not forgiving another or our self provides Satan with a great opportunity. We play right into his hands every time we are so convinced by principle that our un-forgiveness is justified. Are we to, "be outwitted by Satan"?