Sunday, April 14, 2013

Humbled by Forgiveness!

In my retirement, I reflect on an amazing life story that took 43 years to evolve. In my senior year in high school, I was recruited to play football at an academically strong major college.  As with many players that didn’t quite have the high school course background needed to succeed academically at this engineering college, they would send their recruits for a year of prep-school to take courses that would enhance their being accepted while also playing football for the Junior College.  I was one of those candidates.

I was sent to a Military Junior College out West.  About 10 or 12 of us prep players began meeting as we arrived on that warm day in late June to begin football practice and get our class schedules setup for the fall.  We were assigned roommates and my roommate was a prep fellow from the mid-west. My new friend/roommate and I had a great year together studying, doing military drills and playing in football games all over the Western U.S. – from El Paso, Texas, to Long Beach, California, to Boise, Idaho.  We were one win away from playing in the Junior College Rose Bowl in Pasadena, CA, but it didn’t happen.
We both qualified academically to enter the freshman class at the sponsoring college in June of that next year.  Once at our new 4-year college, we became separated, living in different quarters on opposite sides of the large dormitory.  Our main contact time was at football practices.  After college and during my second year of marriage, my old roommate and friend made a trip to visit me and my wife for a few days.  We showed him around our historic city’s downtown area and we had some good meals and conversation together.  The night before my friend was to fly home, and my wife had gone to bed, he and I sat in the living room chatting.  The conversation moved into politics and before long it was obvious that he and I were on opposite ends of the political spectrum.  We had never before discussed politics.
I then allowed myself to become “politically” angry with my friend, saying some things and acting in a way that I regretted for the next 43-years. I stormed off to bed leaving my friend behind and barely spoke to him the next morning as we got up and went to the airport.  At that point I had written him off as a friend. It would be 43-years before I would speak to or see my friend.
The next twenty or so years I was busy with my job, marriage, community volunteering and helping my dear wife raise our children.  I didn’t think about my friend very much.  When I did, I was sure that he was probably happier than me that we disconnected, especially after the way I treated him on his visit many years before.  Fortunately, early in my marriage my wife led me into the church.  I soon became part of a Christian Community and started to grow and mature in my relationship with the Lord.  During the past 20- years, I have thought more about my friend and have suffered from guilt for my part in our long separation.
I started checking phone listings in my friend’s home town to no avail.  Phone calls became dead ends.  With the advent of the internet and its ability to provide people searches, I continued to look for my old friend and prayed that he would forgive me if I was able to connect with him.  I was afraid that he would reject me and had written me off as I had him.  By now we were separated by 43-years with not much hope of reconnecting.  I thought, ‘maybe in heaven we’ll reunite’, but wished it would happen in this life.  As far as I knew, he may have already died.
Then, in October of the 43rd year, my phone rang.  I didn’t recognize the out-of-state number, so I didn’t answer.  I figured if it was important, they could leave a message and they did.  To my disbelief, the message was from my old written-off friend, asking me to give him a call.  He had also been searching for me and in his internet travels he saw something that connected with my name.  He had found my old work number and called there only to find that I had retired.  A former workmate that answered his call gave him my contact number.
As I began to return my old friend’s call, I rehearsed my apology, feeling that I needed to mend that fence immediately.  I was sure that he had been in pain for 43-years over the way I treated him.  To my surprise, as I awaited an opportunity in our conversation to apologize, my friend never mentioned that episode.  In fact, he referred to his visit all those years ago in a positive way, never indicating it had been anything but a nice visit many years ago.  He also reflected on our time together at prep school as roommates and how much it had meant to him.  Shocking me even more, he shared with me that he had always told his parents that there were three things that helped him more than anything in his life.  One of the three things was the year he spent with me as his roommate.  He said that I could look at a wall and find something funny or interesting about it!  He also said that the insecurity of his big step after high school, was greatly lessened by getting to know me.
So a couple of months passed and I got a second call from my old friend.  He said that he and his wife were driving halfway across the country to spend Christmas with their daughter and they could come through my town on the way.  He said he and his wife would arrive at their motel near town late in the evening and suggested we have breakfast together at an interstate exit restaurant the next morning.  I said yes, and I was really looking forward to seeing him again.  Nevertheless, my guilt began building up again. Even though he had not yet mentioned the probable cause for our long-time separation in any of our recent communications, I just knew that it would come up or that I would need to bring it up, apologize and try to get a good start on our future relationship.
My wife was working and couldn’t make breakfast, so I went alone to the restaurant to meet my old friend and his wife.  It was like a blind date, not knowing if he would recognize me or me him.  As I walked in the restaurant, I immediately spotted him and he spotted me.  We embraced and he introduced me to his wife.  She and I also embraced.  We got a table and sat down for breakfast. 
My friend already had a hint that my walk with the Lord had improved greatly over the past 43-years, as he discovered such in his internet search for me.  I immediately realized that his walk and that of his wife was strong.  After catching up on a few old memories, we decided to move the conversation to the now and the future. 
The three of us had a deep spiritual conversation, with no reluctance to share our faith.  There was a very brief conversation about the present state of our government, but we moved from that as fast as we could.  Nothing was ever mentioned about that time 43-years ago when we separated. 
I was so blessed that things turned out like they did, but I didn’t have a feeling that I had gotten away with my mean-spirited attitude of some 43-years ago.  What I did feel was a most wonderful unspoken forgiveness.  I had to suspect that our breakup 43 years ago troubled him, but he was happy to remove it from his mind and make me feel like all was well.  We made plans to keep our new life together alive, and my wife and I have since traveled to visit he and his wife.  My old friend and I trusted in God’s time in the healing of our relationship and we will continue in what was and is our eternal friendship in the presence of our forgiving Lord.  
 

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